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A 'lil HooHaa

Messing with the blogging world since 2005

true story

30-2 Days of Writing: That’s why I got langered (27/28)

February 27, 2013

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya!

See, a story about being langered isn’t always easy to write about on the blog. Do you want to share something like that with the world to see?

When I was a wee bit younger, several of us would get trollied during the weekend. It was all well and good because you could get pissed the night before, get up the next day and go like a champ.

As you get older, having that feeling isn’t so nice.

Early in the evening — experiencing the nightlife of Dublin!

Take us to 2010.

We went on a vacation to Dublin. There were five of us in total, all family. Me and my brother, who are great fans of Guinness, knew there would be several pints of the black stuff tossed back in the fair city.

Why wouldn’t there be?

However, to me, this wasn’t a trip where I’d just get intoxicated and stay that way (unlike some trips to Montreal in my youthful days). That being said, it seemed silly not to get lit up on night.

And this is how it happened…

Me and my two brothers signed up for a pub crawl. It was rather cheap and it looked like fun. They took you to several bars, fed you at one, allowed you to pour your own beers at one (tap system on the table, way too cool) and you got to see some interesting places. Me and my one brother figured we should get toasted at least one night on the trip and this was as good a time as any.

We met the crawl people at a brewpub. Turns out we were the only three on the tour. The owner actually debated canceling it, but decided to let it go on and we were with our tour guide, who was an absolute blast. We hit several bars. Eventually, my one brother left to head back to the hotel. But two of us carried on.

One Guinness turned into two. Then three. Then four.

You get the picture.

And I can tell you this — the Guinness in Ireland seems a lot stronger and it definitely tastes better than the Guinness in the U.S.

Five then six.

Yeah, no kidding, right?

I should also note that I had become more of a social guy when it comes to beers. Maybe one or two a night if I met some people out at the local watering hole.

Ahhh, the sweet nectar of Dublin!

So let’s say my body wasn’t in the shape to necessarily be able to process these pints as I would hoped.

Seven and eight…

All said, I figured a good dozen or so pints passed through my system that night. We saw some great pubs. Listened to some great music. Saw a World Cup soccer match at one pub. And as the night wore down, we bid our tour guide (who, at that point, was off the clock and have been boozing a bit with us) adieu and made our way to the door and the fresh night air.

That’s when my brother said — do you have any idea how to get back to the hotel?

In Dublin, there’s this massive sphere that goes way into the sky. It can be seen from all over. I was told it’s called the Stiffy by the Liffey. It’s honestly named the Spire of Dublin, and it’s a nearly 400-foot tall stainless steel structure.

I knew our hotel was right near the structure.

So, I pointed to it and said “Head toward the (phallic reference)!”

And off we went.

In the end, we were in Dublin. Two brothers with an affinity toward Guinness. And that is why I got trollied.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” HooHaa Blog on Facebook!

Filed Under: Beer, humor, Ireland, My world, Travel, We Work For Cheese Challenges, Writing Tagged With: 30 Minus 2 Days Of Writing, 30 Minus 2 Days Of Writing challenge, beer, drunk, dublin, ireland, langered, pissed, spire, stiffy by the liffey, that's why i got drunk, travel, trollied, true story, we work for cheese.

15 Comments

Life with Earl: The Beginning

February 23, 2012

Long before there was a sitcom about a guy named Earl, I was writing about a down-home bumpkin named Earl.

It’s true.

During my college days in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I was on the golf course with a few friends. It was a stacked-up day and there were people out hacking around and having major pileups on each tee pad.

When I say hacking, think to the movie Caddyshack when Spaulding is out whacking the ball around:

“Fart!”

“Double fart!”

That was the issue this day. The three of us who had come out to enjoy a round of golf were held up at the 13th tee (which was a long par 5, so an even bigger backup).

It was soon after this moment, that we met Earl. Just three of us. Me, Mike and Jay. Though the legend of Earl grew (and it was humorous to watch certain people act as if they had actually met Earl, but hadn’t) and with that I made Earl a somewhat fictional character for a weekly column in the school newspaper.

Alas, what I had envisioned for Early — a comedy of errors in some less than perfect situations — was thrown aside after a “Hooters” story by one in the journalism department. So I had to make Earl deal with some more “real” issues to keep him in the paper.

So I did that.

Over the years, I’ve thought about continuing Earl. Maybe a book. Maybe something else. But for now? I want to bring Earl to the blog. And with that, I’m going to put below the original story about Earl (with some edits… I’m more refined as a writer now, you see…), so you can all enjoy Earl and appreciate him for what he is.

Earl will live on here on my blog.

Every once in a while, he’ll make an appearance. With the world transforming as it does, I don’t think I’ll have any issues putting Earl in some kooky situations.

—

First, when you go on a golf outing, there are several rules to follow. You should always make sure you have a foursome. If you don’t, the odds are the course will stick someone with you or someone will catch up to you and ask to join your group.

That’s how we met Earl.

On a nice fall day, three of us were playing a quick round of golf. Once we caught up to several slow groups, the quick round ceased. Passing wouldn’t matter as there were three or four slow groups.

As we sat on the 13th tee waiting to play, we saw him for the first time. Toting a pull card, we witnessed an interesting golfer.

Actually, he reminded me of Spaulding from Caddyshack.

After many strokes and putts, he finished hole 12 and waddled up to the 13th tee, where we were still waiting.

“Hey, ya mind if I join ya?”

In Earl’s world, there was no need for introductions. After looking him over, I shot a quick answer.

“Yes.”

The look he gave made it feel like we just filled his ass with some buckshot.

“I’m just kidding,” I said. “Join right up.”

Those words are ones that I might have ended up regretting, if not for being a writer. But as a writer, anything interesting can always make a story. Brief introductions followed and after we had said who we were, he proclaimed himself as Earl.

A local golf professional, no doubt.

“Just missed that darn birdie on 12,” Earl said as he looked back to the 12th green. “I’m, having one hell of a day.”

Reality was I, too, had just missed a birdie on 12, but in a legitimate way. Earl’s counting skills on the course likely weren’t up to snuff as we had witnessed him hack away at least seven or eight shots.

Still, the odds were we weren’t having anywhere near the day Earl was. To think we only had six holes to get to know the big man.

Before we go further, however, I must tell you a bit about Earl. He wasn’t the brightest of people and he’s not going to grace the cover of GQ anytime soon. He appeared to be in his late 30s and we weren’t sure of his womanizing ways, though he was quick to point out several lady friends that he’s had over the years.

Soon enough, it was time to play on.

As I pulled out my driver — something new to me that past summer — Earl peered at me. This is where the fun began.

“Hey, whatcha hittin’?” asked Earl.

“Big Bertha Hawkeye,” I said, probably bragging a bit as the club had a large price tag at the time.

“HEY! Ya mind if I break… err… I mean hit it?” Earl inquired.

“Yes, I mind.”

Earl was a bit shocked. After all, who was I to turn down this golf prodigy? But he accepted the answer and sulked off a little bit. So I hit. Then Jay. Then Mike.

And Mike, well, he’s a big hitter. Long off the tee, it’s impressive to watch.

Earl was equally impressed.

“Wow! You rocked that ball,” Earl proclaimed. “That swing was awesome. It was so easy. I’m gonna call you the Big Easy!”

(Side note: For the remainder of college, Jay and I continued to call Mike “The Big Easy.” Mike, too, is from a town not far from me and anytime I’ve ever run into him, I’ve always reminded him of this nickname. Good times.)

Earl’s shot wasn’t so, well, easy. He shanked it to the left, into a cow pasture than ran to the side of this hole. He was confident in his ability to find the ball, however, and he dashed ahead to look for it. The rest of us were in the middle or on the right side of the fairway, so we split.

Jay, who was a bit of a comedian, was chuckling already about Earl.

“Where the hell does this guy come from?” Jay asked as we approached his ball. “I can’t believe they would allow someone like him on a course.”

And for those of you who know anything about golf and etiquette, we soon found out that Earl was top of the line.

Jay sized up his shot, went into his backswing and was coming through when…

“I FOUND IT! LOOK GUYS! HERE’S MY BALL!” shouted Earl as topped his shot and his ball dribbled ahead maybe 35 feet.

In the end, it turned out it wasn’t even Earl’s ball, so he just dropped another and played on.

What can you do in a situation like this besides laugh?

So, we covered our faces with our towels and started humming the song “Goodbye Earl” by the Dixie Chicks as we walked up the fairway.

After finishing the hole, Earl proclaimed a six. A bogey. Not bad, considering he lost a ball, duffed several more and three-putted. It’s some tricky math in Earl’s world.

Another wait followed on the next tee. So, Jay started up, as per normal.

“So Earl, what do you do for a living?”

“A lot of things.”

“Such as…?”

“Well, I was workin’ down in Philly as a contractor, but I hated it. So I am in the area here doing odd jobs.”

“Where you living?”

“Mackeyville.”

I was lost as a tourist in the middle of Europe.

“Where the hell is that?” I asked.

“About a mile that way,” said Earl, pointing east.

Turns out it was a tiny little place not far from where all of us went to college. Who knew?

At that point, the fairway opened up and Earl stepped to the tee. He popped his drive way right of a par-3 and swore up a storm.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Earl swears more than a sailor on leave.

After finishing that hole and started the next hole, we again had a wait. The investigative journalist in Earl shined through.

“You guys go to college here?” he asked.

We all replied yes.

“I was taking college classes online through Penn State,” said Earl. “That stuff is a bunch of gobbeldy f—ing gook.”

He pondered his next thought.

“So whatcha guys do for fun? Go to the bars, find the ladies or what?”

We all just stared at him. Quite the switch in thoughts and he was excited to know what a few college kids liked doing. He had a look of excitement on his face. A Kodak moment. Kind of like a kid who uncovers a stack of Playboy’s for the first time.

“Uh yeah, we go out. Parties, bars, whatever,” The Big Easy answered.

“Man, I’d like to see some of those college women,” Earl said. “I’ve gone to a couple bars in town, but I gotta get out more. Maybe I can join up with you guys,”

I think my jaw stayed in the middle of the 15th fairway for quite a while when Jay said “sure.”

That’s how it all began. Earl got some phone numbers. The saga of Earl would continue.

We finished the round. Jay actually let Earl hit his Bertha driver later in the round, praying the whole time nothing would happen.

And Earl, well Earl continued as he had. Swearing. Hitting’. Chillin’.

The end of Earl was not to be, however. And it will continue on here at A ‘lil HooHaa. Welcome back, Earl.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog [at] gmail.com. Also, please “Like” HooHaa Blog on Facebook by clicking the button on the right side of the page!

Filed Under: Earl, Entertainment, humor, Life With Earl, My world Tagged With: big easy, earl, funny, humor, laugh, life with earl, me, my world, series, true story

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Tis a dreary and rainy day. What better than to ha Tis a dreary and rainy day. What better than to have a cup of tea in my new mug, which was a birthday gift from my nephew/godson Cameron!
Live life the best you can. Have experiences. Smil Live life the best you can. Have experiences. Smile. Love the world. 

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Likely my final game of the year… but a nice nig Likely my final game of the year… but a nice night! 

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Harper and Phil! #goldenretriever #dog #dogsofin Harper and Phil! 

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Saturday was national dog day… posted on Faceboo Saturday was national dog day… posted on Facebook, but forgot here! Harper was spoiled all day!
How could we skip this? North of the border this How could we skip this? 

North of the border this weekend to get away and hit a few caching events and geocache. Dinner tonight was at @harpersburgers, especially with outdoor seating and dog friendly! @harper_dublin got to enjoy a little of my #burger, of course. And, yes, I got poutine, duh! Great service and great food! Went back later for a spiked shake. This one was a Malibu Colada (malibu rum, dark rum, vanilla ice cream, and pineapple juice) … yum! 

Good times! Looking forward to another event and caches on Saturday before heading home! 

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My newest #pathtag came in! A great design by @geo My newest #pathtag came in! A great design by @geofoxandthehound! This one, of course, is connected to @harper_dublin ‘s Instagram account. It won’t be easy to get! 

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Rain on leaves … still on trees or on the ground Rain on leaves … still on trees or on the ground… is so peaceful. 

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Henlo. #goldenretriever #dogsofinstagram #dog #g Henlo. 

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Haircut day! I got mine done, as did Cameron. He g Haircut day! I got mine done, as did Cameron. He got some waves for when he goes to the shore next week! One shot of me getting the straight razor too! Nice job @studio11chris at @studio11barbersuite ! 

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Part one of the backyard work is done. New patio h Part one of the backyard work is done. New patio has been installed ... (the rock garden area is basically done, too ... but i need to put a few things up with it). The guy who did my patio did a great job... looks cool. 

I think Harper approves. 

One more step and we'll be set to really enjoy it back there with some shade!

Working on a few other landscaping things, too.
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Waggin’ Wednesday at the @swbrailriders was a lo Waggin’ Wednesday at the @swbrailriders was a lot of fun! Hot night, but very enjoyable! 

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Haircut day! Cameron went after me @studio11barber Haircut day! Cameron went after me @studio11barbersuite and looks super smooth! Superb job on both of us, @studio11chris ! 

@harmm23 @dlinc27 #haircut #barber
Harper delivering some flowers to her gram. #gol Harper delivering some flowers to her gram. 

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Stop and look around in life, even if you have the Stop and look around in life, even if you have the yawns. 

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As a @sunydelhi alum, and local, I still love walk As a @sunydelhi alum, and local, I still love walking around the campus. It’s especially nice in the morning when college isn’t in session as it’s quiet and @harper_dublin can sniff and explore her surroundings (if in session, she will want to stop and meet every student etc.). I know a lot of people local walk the campus, and it’s really nice that we have something like this in our community to be able to do so. 

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Ok folks… barbershop experience is good times. H Ok folks… barbershop experience is good times. Hair, tend to the beard … you get it. In Oneonta, check out @studio11chris at @studio11barbersuite ! Tell him I sent you! 

#haircut #barber #beardtrim #barbershop #hair #beard #oldschool #studio11
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P.J. Harmer

P.J. Harmer
A video looking at my first year and a half of owning a golden retriever, my first dog. It's had its ups and downs, but I've truly loved the ride and look forward to the future. 

Music: Happy before we get old by Michael Shynes via Artlist. 

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I hate being in front of the camera, but also realize sometimes it's not the worst thing in the world. So, I'm getting better with it. Week 4's theme was all about us and having us in front of the camera, so I tried to come up with a creative way to do it. 

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