A 'lil HooHaa

Messing with the blogging world since 2005

money

The best news I have ever received came today!

No, I haven’t yet found a job (but am still following some solid leads, so I am hopeful…)

But, it turns out I might not need a job!

I was contacted, via e-mail of course, by the U.S. Treasury Department Office of Foreign Assets Control. It turns out I am being notified about a release of $1,500,000 to me!

Wow.

All my bills will be paid. I can breathe easy until a job comes along. I can travel for a while. So many possibilities!

Think about it — 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS!

Who is going to be rich? This guy! (photo courtesy of alvimann at morgueFile).

Geocaching. Disc golf. Baseball.

Who has two thumbs and is going to make a splash in this world? This guy!

So let’s look at this and see where my money is coming from. I’m interested. Maybe I had a long-lost relative die? A lottery win? Something else? This is so exciting.

It turns out the new UK Prime Minister (hasn’t David Cameron been in office since early 2010? Would that be considered new?) has scheduled a time frame to settle all foreign debts, which include contract, inheritance, gambling, lottery and other international loans. Apparently, according to this e-mail, the lottery is sponsored by Microsoft and National Lottery.

I had my doubts. I really did. Despite the U.S. Treasury Department return address on this e-mail and a contact name, I was still worried.

But then I found this tasty morsel in the e-mail and realized that this e-mail was TRUE!

News had it that over the past,numerous individual (s) who happen to be impostors (claiming to be individuals, banks and organizations) are claiming to release numerous sums of fund via numerous ways.

With the help of the (OFAC)U.S Treasury Department’s and with the FBI we have noticed that people have being asked to pay outrageous amount of money by these impostors for the transfer of their funds to them. We want you to stop all communication that has to do with these fraudsters who have been requesting unreasonable sums of money from you to release your funds which they do not have access to.

Seriously — these people are making sure I know there are scams out there! So why would this one be a scam if they are showing others? Exactky! Because it’s real! Sweeeeeeet!

This is do different. There is a mandate from the OFAC to commence in the immediate release of the funds to me through one of the following payment options (again, taken straight from the e-mail — I want to show you how awesome this is!)

  1. Payment via Automatic Teller Machine (ATM card): This is where you will be sent an Automatic Teller Machine card with Pin also known as ATM card (A Master Card would be issued). Upon receipt of your custom ATM card you will be allowed to withdraw $10,000 per day by default and you are given the option to transfer funds from your ATM card to your bank account.
  2. Certified Cashiers Check or Bank Draft: In this case you will be sent a certified bank draft or check signed in your favor which you will deposit in any bank for it to be cleared within 3 to 5 working days at most depending on your bank.
  3. Online Banking ( Bank To Bank Transfer) to enable you process this operation, $250 Dollars is Required for opening for an online banking operation, that will enable you get access to your account Online.

(Please note that the above three items are direct copy-and-paste items. Therefore, any craziness or odd capitalization is all on the writer of the e-mail).

To make it even better, they are now showing PROOF that things get delivered!

How can I not jump at the chance to rake in $1.5 million??

How do they prove it? Well, they give some names. And some FedEx tracking numbers. So, without following links (I’m smooth like that and know how to get around clicking any links in crazy e-mails), I went to FedEx to see what these were all about.

Sure, enough, the packages were delivered. Seems these people chose option 2 and had a certified cashiers check sent them.

You can’t, apparently, link to a direct tracking number at FedEx. But you can access their tracking part by clicking here, then pasting the following numbers in to check things out.

The people who have struck it rich so far?

  • Mrs. Jeannie Michael (Track: 504747467730)
  • Mrs. Silvia Kim Hope (510230376793)
  • Mr. George Willias (053695370035541)

I must share a few things I found out, however. It seems each package is upwards of four pounds and was left on the doorstep. No signature required for a check or ATM card that is worth $1.5 Million? Really? Sheesh. They are trusting soles with this company!

All I have to do is select one of the three options they gave me and I’ll get my $1,500,000! Online banking access or ATM card will be shipped via Courier Shipping Company (never heard of ’em, maybe they mean FedEx?) within two working days (at most it even notes)!

And then it all came crashing down.

Because of international shopping by the company, they had to sign a contract with the Courier for bulk shipping. That makes the fees reduce from the actual price of $320.99 to $180.99. Nothing more, though! And, no hidden fees of any sort!

If I have any questions, of course I am advised to contact the Department’s Officer responsible for shipping my check or ATM card. They need this information — full name, address, occupation, home/cell phone and age.

My department officer is Mr. Luis Ramos and he can be reached at fundsrelease-dept@one.co.il.

Maybe if you all contact him, you can get some free coin too! Oh happy day!

From there, Ramos will provide me with instructions on how I am to make the one-time payment of $180.99 for the shipping of my card or cashier’s check.

Uh…

Wait. I have to pay?

Oh, wait. More writing. What’s this say?

You are to adhere strictly to the instructions above for more information contact the Department’s Officer.

Remember that you are not paying any fees extra no matter what. Once again note that the actual Courier Retail Price: $320.99 Your Price (Because of our contract signed):is now $180.99 ($140.00 Saved!).

I guess it’s a bargain. I am saving $140 after all…

All that stands between me and this money is a processing fee of $180.99. Somebody must not have told these guys that I’m unemployed. That means I have no money.

Damn.

I was almost rich and $180.99 got in the way.

Well, that and common sense.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog [at] gmail.com. Also, please “Like” HooHaa Blog on Facebook by clicking the button on the right side of the page!

How much is too much?

Will Jimmy Rollins still be running out of here as a member of the Phillies ... or coming back as a hated member of another team?

Let me preface this post by noting that I am happy that Albert Pujols is out of the National League. But that comes from me as a Phillies fan, not me as a baseball fan.

As a Phillies fan — or as a baseball cynic at times — I would have laughed if players like Mariano Rivera or Derek Jeter had left the Yankees over the past few years.

But then there’s the baseball fan in me, which always wins out.

See, this morning, Albert Pujols signed to play with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, leaving behind the St. Louis Cardinals. It’s no secret that I don’t like the Cardinals. I never have.

But the reality is, Albert Pujols has been the face of that franchise. For his 11-year MLB career, it’s the only team he’s ever known. He’s hit 445 homer for that franchise. He’s been a cornerstone. And he’s been one of the best of this generation.

This year was his first true test of the free agent waters.

Over his 11 years with St. Louis, he’s made $104,040,436 (according to Baseball-Reference.com). Pujols was lured by many teams this off-season. The Miami (formerly Florida) Marlins and their hideous new uniforms offered a deal that reportedly could have been worth upwards of $300M over 10 years. The Cardinals were somewhere north of $200M, with a deal ranging from 9-10 years, depending where you read. Apparently the rival Cubs were also sniffing around.

Then came the Angels.

They floated around before spreading their wings and winning the battle with an offer of 10 years and somewhere around $250 or $260 million.

Pujols is going to be 32 years old when the season starts. He’s one of the greatest of this generation. He can hit, he can field and he does a lot of things. And it’s not like he’s not made money.

Even more — he’s a virtual God in St. Louis. So much so, that there’s a statue of him!

Now, he’s gone. He’s flying to a new league. A new team. And leaving behind what could have been one heck of a stories career with one franchise. Unfortunately, that’s the sports business. Take more and move on.

Hunter Pence, who I had the chance to cover in Oneonta when he played the Tigers when he was with the Astros farm club, posted on Twitter this afternoon:

If I’ve already made more than $100M in my career. And, the difference of $60M is the difference between $200M and $260M? AND if I choose the statue and team I’ve known for my entire career?

I choose loyalty.

But I’m also not Albert Pujols. One reason this is good for him is so when he gets to the back end of this contract, he can DH in the American League. It might keep him fresher and good for longer.

But loyalty speaks a ton in my mind. To know I could look at my career and see but one team on that list — I would be more than willing to keep the statue and leave the $60M on the table.

After all, that would still mean I’ve made more than $300M in my career.

How much is too much?

That brings me to the point of this post. Jimmy Rollins.

Rollins, as many of you know, is the long-time shortstop for the Phillies. His face has been the centerpiece of this franchise for many years. Drafted in 1996 by the Phils, his entire 12-year MLB career has been spent manning shortstop for the Phils. He won the MVP in 2007 and help the Phillies win their second World Series in franchise history in 2008.

And through it all, he’s been a Phillie.

His last contract was extremely team-friendly. He showed some loyalty. And he wants it in return now that he’s a free agent at age 33 (which he just turned).

To be fair, the past few years he hasn’t been Jimmy of old. He’s had some injuries. His numbers aren’t where they used to be. But he’s still one of the top defensive shortstops in the game and when he’s on, the team goes as he goes. He is a Philadelphia Phillie.

Rollins wants a 5-year deal. Even I realize that a deal like that might be hard to stomach. Not getting it doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t still be here in five years. But, it locks them into a high-range of pay for that time period. The Phillies seem to want to offer him three years at a pretty decent pay raise.

According to Baseball-Reference, Rollins has made $53,780,000 during his career. No matter what, for the next 3-4 years, he’ll be looking at a good chunk of change. Probably upward of $11-14M per year, if the contract works well enough.

But he wants five years.

That has made it difficult for the Phillies to get him signed quickly. Although the front office brass has said over and over that signing Rollins is a priority, it’s been slow going.

This week at the winter meetings, several things came out. The Brewers were in on him. It sounded like a two-team race. Then it was reported Rollins and the Phillies had agreed to terms of a contract.

But hold that thought…

No terms were agreed to, but it was getting close. Or, maybe not.

This morning on Twitter, Shane Victorino sent out a congrats to Pujols and offered something else:

Soon after, Rollins replied:

Rollins and Pujols share the same agent, so it makes sense that Rollins was kind of waiting while the agent worked on Pujols, who is, by far, the catch of the off-season.

But now that Pujols is signed…

See, the Cardinals have some money they can spend. And they need a shortstop. Does Jimmy Rollins go? Do the Cardinals offer him what he seeks? Earlier in the off-season, some reports showed Cardinals people saying there isn’t a match there.

And, in the end, what does Rollins want?

I know, personally, if he shows up in another uniform next year, it will make me ill. It’s my hope that somehow, the Phillies and Rollins come to an agreement and find middle ground to agree upon. The reality is, Rollins means more to this franchise than he could to another — and vice versa. Rollins is the Jeter of Philly. The Yanks and Jeter finally found a way to get it done last year.

Hopefully the same can be done here.

Because in this day and age, it really is refreshing to see someone stay with a team for their career. In this economy, too, it’s hard for us common Joes to realize fighting over a few extra million. With so many people unemployed in this economy, it’s even harder to cheer for someone who makes a ton of money if they can’t show loyalty as well.

Truthfully, in the end, how much money really is too much?

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog [at] gmail.com. Also, please “Like” HooHaa Blog on Facebook by clicking the button on the right side of the page!