No, I haven’t yet found a job (but am still following some solid leads, so I am hopeful…)
But, it turns out I might not need a job!
I was contacted, via e-mail of course, by the U.S. Treasury Department Office of Foreign Assets Control. It turns out I am being notified about a release of $1,500,000 to me!
All my bills will be paid. I can breathe easy until a job comes along. I can travel for a while. So many possibilities!
Think about it — 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS!
Geocaching. Disc golf. Baseball.
Who has two thumbs and is going to make a splash in this world? This guy!
So let’s look at this and see where my money is coming from. I’m interested. Maybe I had a long-lost relative die? A lottery win? Something else? This is so exciting.
It turns out the new UK Prime Minister (hasn’t David Cameron been in office since early 2010? Would that be considered new?) has scheduled a time frame to settle all foreign debts, which include contract, inheritance, gambling, lottery and other international loans. Apparently, according to this e-mail, the lottery is sponsored by Microsoft and National Lottery.
I had my doubts. I really did. Despite the U.S. Treasury Department return address on this e-mail and a contact name, I was still worried.
But then I found this tasty morsel in the e-mail and realized that this e-mail was TRUE!
News had it that over the past,numerous individual (s) who happen to be impostors (claiming to be individuals, banks and organizations) are claiming to release numerous sums of fund via numerous ways.
With the help of the (OFAC)U.S Treasury Department’s and with the FBI we have noticed that people have being asked to pay outrageous amount of money by these impostors for the transfer of their funds to them. We want you to stop all communication that has to do with these fraudsters who have been requesting unreasonable sums of money from you to release your funds which they do not have access to.
Seriously — these people are making sure I know there are scams out there! So why would this one be a scam if they are showing others? Exactky! Because it’s real! Sweeeeeeet!
This is do different. There is a mandate from the OFAC to commence in the immediate release of the funds to me through one of the following payment options (again, taken straight from the e-mail — I want to show you how awesome this is!)
- Payment via Automatic Teller Machine (ATM card): This is where you will be sent an Automatic Teller Machine card with Pin also known as ATM card (A Master Card would be issued). Upon receipt of your custom ATM card you will be allowed to withdraw $10,000 per day by default and you are given the option to transfer funds from your ATM card to your bank account.
- Certified Cashiers Check or Bank Draft: In this case you will be sent a certified bank draft or check signed in your favor which you will deposit in any bank for it to be cleared within 3 to 5 working days at most depending on your bank.
- Online Banking ( Bank To Bank Transfer) to enable you process this operation, $250 Dollars is Required for opening for an online banking operation, that will enable you get access to your account Online.
(Please note that the above three items are direct copy-and-paste items. Therefore, any craziness or odd capitalization is all on the writer of the e-mail).
To make it even better, they are now showing PROOF that things get delivered!
How can I not jump at the chance to rake in $1.5 million??
How do they prove it? Well, they give some names. And some FedEx tracking numbers. So, without following links (I’m smooth like that and know how to get around clicking any links in crazy e-mails), I went to FedEx to see what these were all about.
Sure, enough, the packages were delivered. Seems these people chose option 2 and had a certified cashiers check sent them.
You can’t, apparently, link to a direct tracking number at FedEx. But you can access their tracking part by clicking here, then pasting the following numbers in to check things out.
The people who have struck it rich so far?
- Mrs. Jeannie Michael (Track: 504747467730)
- Mrs. Silvia Kim Hope (510230376793)
- Mr. George Willias (053695370035541)
I must share a few things I found out, however. It seems each package is upwards of four pounds and was left on the doorstep. No signature required for a check or ATM card that is worth $1.5 Million? Really? Sheesh. They are trusting soles with this company!
All I have to do is select one of the three options they gave me and I’ll get my $1,500,000! Online banking access or ATM card will be shipped via Courier Shipping Company (never heard of ’em, maybe they mean FedEx?) within two working days (at most it even notes)!
And then it all came crashing down.
Because of international shopping by the company, they had to sign a contract with the Courier for bulk shipping. That makes the fees reduce from the actual price of $320.99 to $180.99. Nothing more, though! And, no hidden fees of any sort!
If I have any questions, of course I am advised to contact the Department’s Officer responsible for shipping my check or ATM card. They need this information — full name, address, occupation, home/cell phone and age.
My department officer is Mr. Luis Ramos and he can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Maybe if you all contact him, you can get some free coin too! Oh happy day!
From there, Ramos will provide me with instructions on how I am to make the one-time payment of $180.99 for the shipping of my card or cashier’s check.
Wait. I have to pay?
Oh, wait. More writing. What’s this say?
You are to adhere strictly to the instructions above for more information contact the Department’s Officer.
Remember that you are not paying any fees extra no matter what. Once again note that the actual Courier Retail Price: $320.99 Your Price (Because of our contract signed):is now $180.99 ($140.00 Saved!).
I guess it’s a bargain. I am saving $140 after all…
All that stands between me and this money is a processing fee of $180.99. Somebody must not have told these guys that I’m unemployed. That means I have no money.
I was almost rich and $180.99 got in the way.
Well, that and common sense.
Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog [at] gmail.com. Also, please “Like” HooHaa Blog on Facebook by clicking the button on the right side of the page!