This post is written in conjunction with the 30 Days of Writing, a blog challenge devised by Nicky and Mike at “We Work For Cheese.” I’ll be participating throughout the month of June. If interested, you can see my post with the details of the challenge.
Please note that some of these posts will be serious, some will be normal, and some will be an attempt at humor. This one is on the fun side.
When I was in high school, the movie Arachnophobia came out.
Being most of us didn’t have any wheels, heading to the next town over to catch this flick wasn’t going to happen. But, a few months after it was released, it left the main theaters and it ended up at our local college.
So, a few of us went up to watch.
Being silly people, we sat in he front row. Staring up at the screen for this movie was quite entertaining, actually. Hearing college-aged girls screech during parts of the movie was pretty funny.
Overall, I laughed.
Now I’m not afraid of spiders, but they annoy the ever living hell out of me.
Their stupid webs and and the way they creep around. All right, I get it — you can be sneaky. Now go the hell away.
I think that’s why I don’t buy any of the myths associated with spiders. You know, like the one about “Daddy Long Legs” spiders. You know — they are the most poisonous spider or some crap like that.
Yeah, that was debunked.
Then there’s some wise tale we used to hear as kids about killing said daddy long legs — basically, if you whacked one, you’d get bad luck.
C’mon, people.
My favorite is that idiotic children’s jingle about an itsy bitsy spider.
The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
Really?
Who in the name of holy hell is going to blame that damn story?
Seriously.
If a stupid spider was waltzing up a water spout and the rain came down and washed that sucker away, I’m thinking the spider coroner should be called in to declare that sucker dead.
And if not, someone get the spider shrink in because that spider needs to be looked at. Who would be dumb enough to climb back up the same spout if you just got washed away — and survived?
Hello?
I know there are several times I’ve seen spiders in situations where flowing water came into play. I can assure you of this — the spider never won. And I doubt it won in this jingle, either.
So it’s time for parents to fess up and start telling their kids the truth about this stupid spider.
Here’s my version:
The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
And the itsy bitsy spider was in a crap load of pain.
That damn spider is lucky I didn’t kill it off. Stay away from the spout and live, you dumb spider.
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