I’ve never been much for birthdays.
I don’t know why, but they’ve never been my thing. I don’t go out and get crazy just because the number of my years on Earth changes. Well, besides for my 21st, but that was kind of that right of passage sort of thing. And I, surprisingly, actually remember most of that night.
Still, outside of that, I never do much for my birthday.
Why? Because it’s just a number.
Today is a day when I reach one of those “milestone” years. It’s a day of reflection, to a point, where I can look back and wonder about many years gone by. About choices. About where I am today. About where I’ll be tomorrow.
I’m, obviously, not happy with my place in life right now.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret choices. I’m a believer in things happening for a reason. If I had made different life-altering choices, who knows where I’d be right now? Maybe I’d be way better off — financially and personally. But maybe I’d be even worse off. Maybe I wouldn’t be close friends with those I currently am.
Who can tell?
Life is certainly like a choose-your-own-adventure book. You make choices and things happen. If you would have flipped those choices, who knows what else would have happened?
I definitely know there are times I could have taken a different path and likely had a better outcome. My personality has probably helped, too, knowing sometimes I’m a little too outspoken or out there. And other times, I should have spoken up — and didn’t.
Life is short though.
I look back on so many things on this day, knowing I’ve gone through a whole heap of stuff. Whether it was growing up in the days before the Internet and cell phones to going back to college as a non-traditional student to what I chose as my profession. I look at different relationships, friendships, trips and more.
And it all helped shaped me to who I am.
I honestly have no idea how many more birthdays I have. Maybe one. Maybe 20. Maybe 50. Maybe none. Who ever knows? But I know it’s nothing more than a number.
Good people have died much younger than I am. Bad people have lived to be much older.
So on this day, I like to reflect a little. I realize my life may not be perfect and I may be envious of others who are way ahead of where I am and would like to be, but it could be way worse.
Instead of worry, I’ll use this day to plan and look forward. To press on to be where I’d like to be.
Life may be short, but there’s always time to better yourself. And, hopefully, if all goes well, I can continue to push forward and do that. No matter how many years I’ve apparently been here.
After all, it’s just a number.
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