It’s time to come clean.
Maybe if I do it here, I’ll stick to what I need to do. But I don’t want this to be some sort of crazy “oh, my” party, either. Realize this — it’s my fault and I accept and take full responsibility for where it’s gotten to.
This is not a shock to many of my friends or family. Many already know. But, it’s not as cut and dry as that. I let it get to the level it is.
Several years back, before my one doctor retired, he told me I was borderline diabetic. Basically, my numbers were on the fence. I needed to lose weight, get more active and watch what I ate. I also needed to take blood samples to watch the numbers.
I did it for a while. Then I started realize what did and what did not spike my blood sugar levels. So, I figured I had it all under control. Turns out just because you know what’s working then doesn’t always work.
Fast forward a few years and my doctor is now retired and I’m going to a new person. The numbers are a little higher and now this guy is insisting on medicine. As much as I hate to accept it, I do so. It seems to work. I’m doing OK.
Then I lose my job.
That span of nearly two and a half years was tough. I had no insurance, so doctor’s appointments and such came out of my pocket. During that time, my blood sugars spiked at times. I got lazy on checking it. I sat in front of the computer or television too much (unfortunately, part of that is with work now, too, but I get up and walk as much as I can). I definitely didn’t exercise as much as I should have, which is crazy because I actually had time to do it. And, despite actually losing weight over that time, my blood tests weren’t great.
So things got upped in regard to medication.
The good news came late this past fall. I got a job. There was insurance. I started going to see a doctor. Things were getting better controlled. Heck, my A1C (long-term blood test) was getting close to where it needed to be. So, it seemed I was mixing what I needed to do.
But then that foot thing happened.
For the next three-plus months, my body went through a whirlwind with antibiotics, surgery, worries and everything else you can think of. I had more stress over that time than I had dealt with for a long time – and that includes unemployment.
Add all that up and my blood sugar levels were going nuts. Higher and higher it seemed. All I wanted to do was get off everything and get back to normal and see what the heck could be done. But it had gotten bad. Mixed with the antibiotics and everything else, I was tired often. I dragged. I had no energy I fell asleep in odd times. I just wasn’t me.
Soon after getting off the antibiotics (six weeks home IV stuff), I had an appointment with my main person. He mentioned the “I” word (I won’t write it here… part of the mental mantra… time to fight it!), but I balked at it based on I knew what my body had been through. I needed time to see if I could right this wrong. So, he made me a deal that I would take a second medicine, up my exercise, eat better and try and lose weight. I’ll return to him in six weeks to see how things are going and we’ll decide from there.
Though I always knew what I had, I think I secretly denied it. I always acted as if I knew exactly what I needed to do. In reality, I didn’t control it one bit, barely checked my numbers and kept hanging on that word used way back in the beginning – borderline.
Now, I had hit rock bottom and it was the wake-up call I truly needed. I understood, for whatever reason, that this was extremely serious. I needed to do something. And, so I have. Sometimes in life, one really does need to hit rock bottom before they can get better. I hit it and I hit it hard.
Since getting off the antibiotics, I’ve seen a diabetes educator. She helped me see how to plan meals and what to eat. Different foods do different things to people, which I am seeing. She also told me I should be eating like six times a day – far different than how I was doing things. And that’s a good thing – because now I am feeling like I keep energy in my system for longer periods of time. It’s not just me dragging. And I’ve also had the chance to see what things do to me and in certain situations. I’m making positive changes in my life.
If you understand blood readings, you know the normal range for people with diabetes is something along the lines of 70-140. During this whole episode, I was ranging in the mid-to-high 300s.
Yes, that’s scary.
It was quite frightening at one point when I got to the 390s. I contacted my primary provider. Thankfully, the numbers came down. And though I’ve made serious strides, I am not out of the woods yet. Heck, I may still have to worry about the “I” word yet. Alas, my goal is to avoid that and the educator is helping me work on that. There’s never guarantees, that’s for sure. But I’m working at it.
I’ve invested in a better glucometer, for one, one that syncs with my phone so I can see patterns and know what I need to do. The one downfall to it is it only keeps the past 14 days. A computer program is supposed to be able to connect to save everything, but I can’t seem to sync up. So I am going to have to go old school and just set up a Word file or something to keep track of everything.
Alas, one thing is known – I have seen a dramatic decrease in my numbers over the past few weeks. It went from the 300s to the 200s. It’s been more than two weeks since I was in the 200s and I’m at the point now where all the crazy readings are going away. I like that because it shows I’m doing what I am supposed to do. I check 3-4 times a day, usually, and am getting a strong understanding of what things do to me.
So something is working. I feel better, too. I seem to breathe better (shocker), I have more energy and I am sleeping better. That’s all good!
With many things in life, they often say you need to hit rock bottom before you can improve yourself and climb back up. I reached that breaking point. And then I realized I don’t have to stop eating things I truly love, I just need to learn what things do to my body and how I can counteract, if needed. It’s all about moderation.
This road is a long one. It’s a journey of life to try and improve myself mentally and physically. It won’t be easy, but I plan on doing things to force myself to stay on the course. Of course I’ll be blogging about this journey, too, as it’s a way for me to kind of keep myself on track and make sure I do what I need to do.
Life is a wonderful thing. It’s also precious and shouldn’t be taken for granted. Things like this really show you how delicate life can be. But at the same time, it makes me smile to know that I’m at an age where I can still battle this and live life normally.
Now it’s time to push onward and keep getting things to how they should be.
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