I’ve never been much for birthdays.
I don’t know why, but they’ve never been my thing. I don’t go out and get crazy just because the number of my years on Earth changes. Well, besides for my 21st, but that was kind of that right of passage sort of thing. And I, surprisingly, actually remember most of that night.
Still, outside of that, I never do much for my birthday.
Why? Because it’s just a number.
If there was a fair around here, I’d find me one of these, throw a candle on it and wish for it to be totally awesome.
Today is a day when I reach one of those “milestone” years. It’s a day of reflection, to a point, where I can look back and wonder about many years gone by. About choices. About where I am today. About where I’ll be tomorrow.
I’m, obviously, not happy with my place in life right now.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret choices. I’m a believer in things happening for a reason. If I had made different life-altering choices, who knows where I’d be right now? Maybe I’d be way better off — financially and personally. But maybe I’d be even worse off. Maybe I wouldn’t be close friends with those I currently am.
Who can tell?
Life is certainly like a choose-your-own-adventure book. You make choices and things happen. If you would have flipped those choices, who knows what else would have happened?
I definitely know there are times I could have taken a different path and likely had a better outcome. My personality has probably helped, too, knowing sometimes I’m a little too outspoken or out there. And other times, I should have spoken up — and didn’t.
Life is short though.
I look back on so many things on this day, knowing I’ve gone through a whole heap of stuff. Whether it was growing up in the days before the Internet and cell phones to going back to college as a non-traditional student to what I chose as my profession. I look at different relationships, friendships, trips and more.
And it all helped shaped me to who I am.
I honestly have no idea how many more birthdays I have. Maybe one. Maybe 20. Maybe 50. Maybe none. Who ever knows? But I know it’s nothing more than a number.
Good people have died much younger than I am. Bad people have lived to be much older.
So on this day, I like to reflect a little. I realize my life may not be perfect and I may be envious of others who are way ahead of where I am and would like to be, but it could be way worse.
Instead of worry, I’ll use this day to plan and look forward. To press on to be where I’d like to be.
Life may be short, but there’s always time to better yourself. And, hopefully, if all goes well, I can continue to push forward and do that. No matter how many years I’ve apparently been here.
After all, it’s just a number.
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Happy Birthday! May you have many more and look forward to great things!
Heather recently posted..Discipline without Distress
Thank you so much!
I agree! Age is just a number. It really is all about how we feel about ourselves and the lives we’re leading. However, I think you should celebrate your birthday no matter how old you are. My family gets together for a family dinner still to this day and I’m 35. Why not have a special day to enjoy your favorite meal or a big fat slice of cake? 🙂
Kerry recently posted..Open Letter to Trace Adkins: No, I’m Not Gonna Miss This
In this day and age, this all seems especially true. A favorite meal was done, of course, but outside of that I try and avoid things. 😉
Happy Birthday! You said it all very well here.
Phil recently posted..Heavy Metal Love in NYC – Duff’s Brooklyn!
Thanks, Phil!
Happy 40th my brother! Keep your chin up and keep fighting!
I have no choice but to keep fighting!
Happy Birthday. I hope you have many more. My students always ask me why I so readily tell them how old I am. I tell them, it’s because it’s a number I can’t control. Now if they were to ask me how much I weigh, then that’s a different story. Yeah, that’s a number too, but it’s a number I wish I could control better than I do.
Paul Myers recently posted..Flashback Friday
Thanks, Paul. And agreed on telling. I’ve never purposely lied about my age, though there were times I’ve forgot! Hahaha (I also agree on the weight part)
Well, Happy Birthday anyway! I do get excited about birthdays but I don’t dread turning another year older or think oh no I’m __ age so I need to have done this and that by now. I know my number, but it doesn’t define me!
Rachel recently posted..Fridays Fancies: Friday Night Lights!
I don’t get caught up in things like that, either. I figure we’re here for a certain time, so there’s time to get things done! Thanks!
I definitely get the reflection part, and have once or twice contemplated going off into nature to reflect on my birthday. I don’t consider birthdays to be about our age though. To me, it’s a day to celebrate someone coming into existence.
Gunmetal Geisha recently posted..The Politics of Thinness
It’s a good way to look at it, but I just never felt like celebrating that day. For whatever reason. I take it as another day, with a good dinner and usually a good beer. 😉