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A 'lil HooHaa

Messing with the blogging world since 2005

30 Days of Writing: Spiders (5/30)

June 5, 2012

This post is written in conjunction with the 30 Days of Writing, a blog challenge devised by Nicky and Mike at “We Work For Cheese.” I’ll be participating throughout the month of June. If interested, you can see my post with the details of the challenge. 

Please note that some of these posts will be serious, some will be normal, and some will be an attempt at humor. This one is on the fun side. 

When I was in high school, the movie Arachnophobia came out.

Being most of us didn’t have any wheels, heading to the next town over to catch this flick wasn’t going to happen. But, a few months after it was released, it left the main theaters and it ended up at our local college.

So, a few of us went up to watch.

Being silly people, we sat in he front row. Staring up at the screen for this movie was quite entertaining, actually. Hearing college-aged girls screech during parts of the movie was pretty funny.

Overall, I laughed.

Now I’m not afraid of spiders, but they annoy the ever living hell out of me.

Their stupid webs and and the way they creep around. All right, I get it — you can be sneaky. Now go the hell away.

I think that’s why I don’t buy any of the myths associated with spiders. You know, like the one about “Daddy Long Legs” spiders. You know — they are the most poisonous spider or some crap like that.

Yeah, that was debunked.

Then there’s some wise tale we used to hear as kids about killing said daddy long legs — basically, if you whacked one, you’d get bad luck.

C’mon, people.

My favorite is that idiotic children’s jingle about an itsy bitsy spider.

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.

Really?

Who in the name of holy hell is going to blame that damn story?

Seriously.

If a stupid spider was waltzing up a water spout and the rain came down and washed that sucker away, I’m thinking the spider coroner should be called in to declare that sucker dead.

And if not, someone get the spider shrink in because that spider needs to be looked at. Who would be dumb enough to climb back up the same spout if you just got washed away — and survived?

Hello?

I know there are several times I’ve seen spiders in situations where flowing water came into play. I can assure you of this — the spider never won. And I doubt it won in this jingle, either.

So it’s time for parents to fess up and start telling their kids the truth about this stupid spider.

Here’s my version:

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
And the itsy bitsy spider was in a crap load of pain. 

That damn spider is lucky I didn’t kill it off. Stay away from the spout and live, you dumb spider.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog [at] gmail.com. Also, please “Like” HooHaa Blog on Facebook!

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Filed Under: humor, My world, We Work For Cheese Challenges Tagged With: 30 days of writing, arachnophobia, blogging, day 5, itsy bitsy spider, spider, spiders, we work for cheese challenge, we work for cheese., writing

26 Comments

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Comments

  1. nonamedufus says

    June 5, 2012

    I hate spiders. I usually step on them, ignoring the silly maxim that if you kill a spider it’s going to rain. Got an umbrella?
    nonamedufus recently posted..30 Days of Writing – Day #5 – SpidersMy Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      Squishy, squishy. Bring the umbrella, indeed!

      Reply
  2. Babs - Beetle says

    June 5, 2012

    I once found a spider in the bottom of a vase. I filled it with water to throw it out of the window. You know what that spider did? It created a large air bubble and crawled around happy under the water. I threw the vase out of the window in the end.
    Babs – Beetle recently posted..Spiders – Who is the bravest of them all?My Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      That spider must have liked his home then, eh?

      Reply
  3. laughingmom says

    June 5, 2012

    Why is it that the spider gets washed down the drain in the song, but a spider in a bathtub can figure out where to crawl to stay dry whenever the water comes on???
    laughingmom recently posted..30 Days of Writing – SpidersMy Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      I wondered things like that, too? Was this spider in the spout drunk, maybe?

      Reply
  4. Linda says

    June 5, 2012

    I remember watching Arachnophobia with my hubby and our cat walk past him on the couch. His whiskers brushed hubby’s arm and, the man who never jumps or flinches at anything, jumped!
    Linda recently posted..SpidersMy Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      Ha! I still remember watching it on a big screen a mere feet away. Crazy!

      Reply
  5. Linda Medrano says

    June 5, 2012

    That’s cold, PJ. I like that in a man!
    Linda Medrano recently posted..SpidersMy Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      Ha! Thanks!

      Reply
  6. Ron says

    June 5, 2012

    Hi! Just wanted to stop by and say thank you for dropping by my blog earlier. Nice to meet ya!

    Well, I can pretty much stand any kind of bug, except those LARGE water bugs that fly, and spiders. OMG…they totally freak me out! I admit it, I’m a big baby.

    “Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
    And the itsy bitsy spider was in a crap load of pain.”

    Ha! Love your rendition much better!
    Ron recently posted..Some Hamster Lovin’My Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      Hey Ron… thanks for stopping by! I’m petty much the same with bugs. Not so much freaking me out, rather annoying me.

      Reply
  7. Nicky says

    June 5, 2012

    Um, P.J.? I don’t know if anyone told you but… it’s just a kid’s song. It’s not real. Not like the one that scared the crap out of Miss Muffet. 🙂
    Nicky recently posted..And Then There Were NoneMy Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      Now wait a second! This song is real! I know it! As for Miss Muffet? She’s nothing. Never leaves her tuffet!
      P.J. recently posted..Train comingMy Profile

      Reply
  8. Michael D'Agostino says

    June 5, 2012

    That movie looks awful! Can’t wait to see it! That nursery rhyme sends a message of not giving up and getting back on the horse, so to speak. But your version would be equally entertaining.
    Michael D’Agostino recently posted..I’d Like to Thank the Academy…My Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      Oh, it’s not an Oscar-worthy movie, that’s for sure. You should be able to find somewhere to find it. I think it was out in the late 80s.

      Reply
  9. Shawn says

    June 5, 2012

    John Goodman is great. He makes any movie fun.
    Shawn recently posted..30 Day Writing Challenge: SpidersMy Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      I will agree that he can make most things fun!

      Reply
  10. Malisa says

    June 5, 2012

    Haven’t you ever washed a spider down a bathtub drain only to watch it reappear over and over? Those things are pretty water (and wine) resistant! 🙂

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 5, 2012

      Thankfully, no! If so, I probably would have found a way to send it down the drain!

      Reply
  11. Katherine says

    June 5, 2012

    BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!! Poor spider!
    Katherine recently posted..SpidersMy Profile

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 6, 2012

      Dah! No poor spider sympathy here! 😀
      P.J. recently posted..Train comingMy Profile

      Reply
  12. mike says

    June 5, 2012

    Wow…that movie. Blast from the past. Still, anything with John Goodman gets my vote 🙂

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 6, 2012

      Agreed!

      Reply
  13. Sandra says

    June 6, 2012

    See, I would yank that water spout out of the wall, and smash the living shit out of that spider till it coudln’t crawl anywhere and would eventually die a slow and painful death. But that’s just me.

    Reply
    • P.J. says

      June 6, 2012

      Now that’s what I’m talking about. I love it!

      Reply

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hoohaa29

Writer who loves images just as much as words! In search of perfectly poured pints of Guinness and great hot dogs. Find me on twitter @softball29.

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