
This lonely softball is how I feel whenever I do fantasy sports. Alone with no chance at winning my league championships!
I say every year that this is my final year in fantasy sports.
Seriously.
Each year, I donate my money (note that I didn’t say pay my fee) to the league pool and get swamped. In the end, with free agent fees and all that, I watch some bucks fly out the window.
Thankfully, I have a partner in the fantasy football league. Alas, we’ve not had any luck.
I’ve read reports that say millions of people play fantasy football each year. Which means throughout the season, people scour statistics, argue over players, sometimes cheat and do anything else to get ahead and win.
(Seriously on the cheating. I was once in a league where the people who ran the league changed rules mid-season, which, of course, benefited them in winning. That’s not just cheating, it’s stealing as people paid into these leagues to have a fair shot to win).
In my two main leagues this year, baseball and football, things aren’t great.
In baseball, I thought I had an excellent team. I really did. But early injuries hammered me and I never recovered. Then, there was a two-week stretch in the summer where I just ignored the team. That never helps. So, I finished last. I then lost in the first round of the John Maine Toilet Bowl Championship bracket.
Before, I continue, the John Maine Toilet Bowl Championship is a fantastic part of our league. Let me give that story.
For the first couple years of our league, Rod had drafted John Maine each year. As anyone now knows, he was an awful, awful fantasy pitcher. A lot of promise, nothing to show for it. Anyway, when Maine went on one of his awful slides, Rod would try and pawn him off on anyone he could for whatever he could (nobody would take the bait). Then it became a situation where Rod started proposing crazy trades (which made it funnier). You know, trades like Maine for a Ryan Howard or something. It became a long-standing joke in our league.
Flash forward to last year, Rod and I were at a baseball card show. We found a John Maine autographed baseball card for cheap (shocker!) and got it. The plan is to get it in a holder with an old, beat-up ball and give that to the winner of our annual Toilet Bowl Championship (the bottom four teams).
Anyway…
Let’s just say that I got absolutely hammered this year — in the season and in the one playoff matchup I had.
Now, I love baseball. By far, it’s my favorite sport. But fantasy baseball is tough. You have daily lineups to play with. Different moves to make. And the season is really, really long. We are a keeper league, too, so it makes the draft that much more interesting because there are fewer players out there.
But once your team starts a large slide, it’s hard to keep up with it. Next thing you know, you’re at the bottom of the league and there’s nothing that can be done.
We are a 7X7 league (seven offensive categories, seven defensive) in a head-to-head league. Though there’s a matchup set between me and the lone other person not playing for anything, it doesn’t really count. So, in all honesty, my team finished a whopping 85-237-14 this year.
You saw that right.
In head-to-head matchups, I went 2-22. That is correct. Of 24 weeks in the season, I won twice. That’s not enough to make me want to stay. I tried to have fun with it. I changed my team name to “Crying Seamus.” I did a lot of leprechaun-style posts. But it got to the point where it was silly.
I had a solid team. They just never seemed to do anything when the others did. I still can’t figure out, either, how I have so many good starters and none of them ever seemed to pitch twice a week. But teams I faced, it always seemed like their pitchers did. I also had a ton of closers and never seemed to do much in the save category.
Do you see why I am considering giving this crap up??
Football is worse. I’ve actually won my league before. So I know it can be done. The problem is, this sport is way more frustrating than baseball because I am not so much a major football fan as baseball. In baseball, I know most people. In football, not so much. See, I’m a Colts fan. That’s the way I think. Outside of them, I know major people. Some of the smaller people, not really.
So the draft is usually interesting.
The past two years, I’ve taken the line that many have done to win our league. Get a major quarterback, running back and wide receiver and run them to the title. I did it last year. Nothing.
I did it this year and it started out very bad. See, my quarterback — every year — is Peyton Manning. We’re an auction league, so I can outbid and overpay for him every year.
This year was no different. Though my gut said he might not play this year with his injuries (the gut is starting to look good), I went beyond the price I had in mind for him and paid $27 for him (we have a $105 salary cap).
I followed my heart and my hopes.
Yeah, that worked out well. My other two biggies weren’t bad in Adrian Peterson and Greg Jennings. And my backup QB is someone I took with the last pick of the draft for $1 — Cam Newton. Not bad. He’s helped a ton and won me the first week as well as should have helped win me the second week. THAT leads to my final point about fantasy football.
Setting your lineup is a crap shoot.
When you don’t have game breakers, your situation is usually something where you take a guess based on matchups or gut feelings. Yep. I did that in week two.
I put Cincinnati’s Jerome Simpson in my lineup. (If you are a football fan, you might see where this is going).
Then I took him out.
For Devin Hester. Seriously.
I figured maybe, at least, Hester could bust a return or something. He scored me one (1) point.
Simpson had 18 fantasy points.
I lost the week, 128-119. Do the math.
This week, I did the same (though it didn’t matter), just in running backs. I sat Cedric Benson (6 points) for BenJarvus Green-Ellis (1 point). Yeah, that was a great move, eh? It didn’t matter as I got beat, 108-72 (neither team has anyone playing tonight). The season is still long, so I am not out of it. But this is frustrating already!
So goes my life in fantasy sports. I hate it. It’s frustrating. It’s annoying. And it’s not worth doing. Really.
That’s it folks.
This is my last year in fantasy sports.
Seriously.
Oh, and when does the keeper list have to be in for baseball?
***
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I’ll share my tale of woe in fantasy football…my league with donation to the league pool. We play 16 game season, no playoffs, and the top 3 finishers at the end of the season receive donations from the league pool….
2009 – week 15, I am in 3rd place tied with 4th in W-L, but ahead by Points For (our first tiebreaker) going into week 16
I have Brady, but he had performed poorly in weeks 14 and 15 and who knows how long he will play in the game since the Pats had clinched already. I see Alex Smith on waivers and they are playing Detroit and pick him up mid week (that was a year he was decent and the Lions stunk). All Sunday morning I switch the 2 in and out, as I just can’t decide who to play. I end up with Smith in and Brady on the bench, Brady out-scores Smith by 20 in our league, and I am behind by 8 points for my week. I still have a Kicker on Monday night Longwell, and saw the other Kicker (Gould) was also available. So consider switching to Gould since he is the home kicker. Decide the Brady\Smith switch didn’t work for me and stay with Longwell. Longwell ends up getting a PAT blocked, and in our league that costs you 5 points, as well as I didn’t get the positive 1 point for PAT, so basically a 6 point swing on 1 kick. (Longwell scores 2 fantasy points, Gould something like 12) End up losing the week by 5 points, drop from 3rd to 4th and lose my donation.
2010 – week 15, I am in 3rd place tied with 4th in W-L, but ahead by Points For (our first tiebreaker) going into week 16. (you probably know where this is going….)
I have Aaron Rodgers and Jon Kitna. Rodgers sits out the 1.5 games prior to week 16, due to concussion in week 14. GB plays NYG in week 16 and they had knocked out 6 starting QBs during the season. Kitna is playing well filling in for Romo. Not knowing if Rodgers will really play on Sunday, I play Kitna on Saturday…Kitna gets hurt and leaves the game, Rodgers plays the whole game Sunday. Kitna scores 2 fantasy points, Rodgers scores 34 fantasy points, I lose my week by 15 points and fall from 3rd to 4th….
Dave — sounds like some tough-luck woes for sure. We all have those, no? That 2009 scenario really stinks. All on a kicker. Yikes!