(Note: The Philadelphia Phillies hired Joe Girardi to be their next manager. I’m quite stoked about this and hope it’s what the Phillies need. Too much talent to just be 81-81. That being said, I had drafted this up … you know, in case they still needed a manager. So, this is my pitch from all my years of managing adult softball to come out of “retirement” and be the manager of the Phillies!)
Dear Mr. Klentak,
Coming out of my managerial retirement wasn’t something I had planned on contemplating, but as they say – when opportunity knocks, answer the door!
While I am sure you are seeking somebody with big league experience for the next manager of the Philadelphia Phillies, I still felt it necessary for a life-long Phillies fan to see about the possibility, especially somebody with the managing pedigree that I bring.
What I bring is a championship background and would love to bring that to the dugout of the Philadelphia Phillies. For nearly 30 years, I built and managed an adult softball team in my area that went on to do well not only here, but at the state and national level. Success took a little time (hey, it’s not easy starting with a “rebuild” and having to recruit players right away!) but once we reached the highest level, we stayed there.
You could say was somewhat of a GM/manager/player (probably why if I can ever afford the Phillies Phantasy Camp, I’ll want to do so with the GM part), and I feel that experience could lead to a successful run as skipper of the Phillies.
Over the 28 years I managed, we had a constant flow of players and personalities. It’s not easy to juggle all of that, especially if they are coming straight from work or had a cold one in them. We played modified pitch, which is as close to baseball as it comes – and we lived on small ball. We had some power, and good pitching. And we were usually pretty solid in the field (not if I was out there – hitting was my prowess. Fielding, not so much).
And, of course, we had some egos and tempers and everything else. I feel I handled it all well. And I know pitching is something of a sore spot to people, as well. But I have to be honest – I manage pitching with git instinct. I want pitchers to test their limits and become old school of sorts. To be fair, we only really had one pitcher over the last 19 years I managed. I pitched some, too, but the old knuckleball didn’t always work and that proved to be tough at times. And, our pitcher 60 in my final year, but he could still go.
Some of my credentials:
- 7 league championships
- More than 400 victories (estimated)
- Belief in the youth movement
- Letting players be players
And, Mr. Klentak, I can’t lie – I can second-guess current managers with the best of them (though, to be fair, I don’t really do it online, so maybe it doesn’t count?) as I attend anywhere from 40-75 live games a year between the minors and majors.
I’m also a baseball nerd (have scorebook, will travel) and love all the analytics of the game. Though, to be fair, I tend to manage more by seeing how the game unfolds more so than worrying about whether or not a guy facing a certain player a third time would be bad. If a guy is dealing, I want him to keep dealing. I’m sure with more analytics, I’d be all over it. There’s not many scouting reports, though, in upstate New York for an over-35 dynasty. We just win!
My salary requirements won’t be too crazy, I promise. I’ll bring fire, that’s for sure. I’m a supporter of the Phillies in many ways – from traveling to see them play to even taking part this past year in the Phillies 5K to getting many clothing items – and I’ll continue to do so as manager (though, a uniform and such will be free, right?) I also believe in the system and have been a supporter at the minors and have a good feel for what’s in the system (prospect guides rule)!
I’m ready for my eighth championship to come with the Phillies.
References available upon request. I look forward to discussing this possibility.
Sincerely,
P.J. Harmer
Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!
Dear Mr Harmer,
Thank you for your interest in the position of [insert position here Manager] of the Philadelphia Phillies. Unfortunately, as you know, the position has been filled. Your credentials are very impressive, however when we began the process for hiring a new manager, your name did not show up in our Google or Wikipedia searches. We never thought to check WordPress.
We will keep your [insert resume or application blog post] on file for the next 12 months in the event we have to blame our new manager for the underperformance of the clubhouse full of overrated players I’ve assembled for this coming year.
Please accept this gift of a [insert name of overpriced item Phillies keychain] as a token of our appreciation for your [insert number here many] years of supporting the fine tradition of Phillies baseball.
Sincerely,
[insert current name of GM Matt Klentak]
P.S.We hope you will continue to check our job board, you never know when the team will be in need of a new [insert position here General Manager].
You would think with all of the analytics in place, looking online and via WordPress blogs would be an easy way to find it! #Disappointed!