A 'lil HooHaa

Messing with the blogging world since 2005

Life

Looking at life a little differently

I’ve always said birthdays are just another day … and your age is just a number. 

And I still truly believe that. 

However, as we start to get older, I think you start to see things with a different set of eyes. As I approach a half of a century on this Earth (still a couple of years, but much closer to that than, say, a quarter of a century), I tend to look at things in a bit of a different light. 

Mainly, about myself. 

I’ve made certain choices in life that have brought me to where I am. And I’m OK with that. I realize if I had gone this direction or that direction, things would be totally different. Maybe for the better. Maybe for the worse. You never know as there are always ramifications for a decision you make. 

Sometimes, though, you just have to start understanding where things are in this world. 

Find the things that make you smile. Sunrise in Avalon, NJ – October 2021.

I’ve had a lot of time recently to do some thinking. And I’ve kind of been in a frame of mind where I don’t know how to express things. My world is upside down, and there’s not a lot to lean on. As I learn new things (ie: owning a puppy), I often feel isolated or on an island. But what makes it harder is not having that regular system to lean into, and that has nothing to do with the dog. 

Too, I realize as we grow older, everybody has different priorities. And I never will fault people for priorities. In fact, it’s how it should be. My decisions in life have put me where I am. I have a pretty good job. I’m in the process of buying a house. I now have a dog. But, I’m also single and don’t have kids – and that’s by choice. I often work too much and when I’m not working, half the time I just want to chill. 

But, you also need to have interactions and connections as part of life, right?

The thing to always remember is we all grow – and in different ways. Some get married. Some have kids. Some move away for a job. Some just go in different directions. Some live care free lives where they just go from place to place. Maybe you stopped doing something where you saw a lot of people (ie: for me, when I stopped playing softball, I saw less of those people). And it’s not done out of spite or with bad intentions, rather it is just a change. 

I’m one of those people who tend to hang on with certain things. I like giving people the benefit of the doubt, and I try my hardest to reach out and things like that. Alas, I’m not perfect. It doesn’t always happen, as much as I would like to do so. And this isn’t anything in particular, rather a situation where people just have other things going on and other commitments. While it’s true that some people just aren’t reliable and constantly go back on what they tell you or just always spin the yarn, the reality is most people just have life and family and things come up. I get that. 

So that leads to me. 

Here I am, approaching that half-century mark. I don’t plan on making any big moves in my world, so I’m where I’m at. I like to travel a little bit. I like baseball. And I like experiencing things. I just have to realize that many things I will do may have to be done by myself or, eventually, with my dog (such as possibly learning to like “camping” a bit more and traveling to national and state parks). 

I have to become more secure in this. 

The reality is, sometimes people don’t always come through when they tell you they will. And I’m not talking about one or two times. I mean, things come up. We all have had to back out of things here and there. You move on and deal. I’m talking more about the continual way of doing this. Over and over. 

It’s interesting. On my birthday, I read something on Facebook. It quoted Anthony Hopkins. It was pretty long, but well worth reading … in the end, it talked about people. Basically, what I got from it, is that things should always be a two-way street. If you are trying too hard and you seem to be the only one doing so, it might not be time to look deeper into things. It really struck a chord with me, though.

Life’s hard. The experiences and the people who you let into your circle are what will make you happy. You have to go out and get it. I know I’m not always happy. I know getting this dog has actually, for now, made me more down (I realize in time that will change) because of everything I have to do. 

Life is what you make of it. I always have said that … the difference now is I have to start living it, too. 

Look ahead, not behind. And do everything you can to smile as much as you possibly can as you never know when that smile will stop.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!

Living with Diabetes: March 2021

It’s been a while since I did one of these posts, and there’s quite a bit to catch up on. Heck, to be fair, I’ve barely touched the blog outside of the Photo Blogging Challenge, so I need to kick it. 

The one thing I always loved about this monthly post was the accountability that it gave me. Without it, part of my accountability goes away. 

And my numbers have shown it. 

Living with Diabetes logo

I also realized I started writing one of these posts in February, and I never finished it and posted. So I am going to take things from that one and add a little more, so this could be a little longer. But that’s OK. I realize not a lot of people read these so it’s, for me, usually a way I can get my thoughts out there about how things are going. 

So where to begin?

As I write this, we are a year into the current pandemic. We’ve all been going through issues over the past year. The world is still crazy, mad, scared, upset, and every other feeling and emotion you can come up with. 

It just seems everybody reaches a breaking point and, at times, I feel I’ve reached said point more than once. 

First … the numbers

Since I’ve written about this last, I’ve had two A1C tests and they are up. But this was expected. I knew I wasn’t doing the best. The second one actually went down a smidge, but that’s because of how I rebounded in the final month. If I hadn’t, I can’t imagine what it would be. 

And why is this? 

I explained to my primary (after the first test) that yes, I knew, but I also knew what was part of it – everything going on. From the pandemic, to the political world, to everything else – I wasn’t being smart. I ate like shit, I wasn’t watching things, and when my finger prick checking of my blood sugars wasn’t great (even when I was being smart), I got frustrated and pissed off. 

So I’d eat. 

Yeah, not the smartest thing in the world, that’s for sure. And I knew it wasn’t smart, but I had no self-control. It was a crutch. 

That being said, I was keeping up my walking, for the most part. I’d stay as active as I could, but my free time was often on a computer and kind of tuning out life. 

But why?

Look, the past year has been tough. Everybody has their own story or narrative about the year. And if you are in different parts of the United States, or in another country – everything going on has a different impact on you. Some have taken it worse than others. The suicide rate is up. Depression is up. Tension is up. Some people haven’t worked in months. Others are working too much. Some want to be working. Some would rather be in their home away from everything. 

The way one person has been dealing with the past year won’t be identical to the next person. 

But, because this is from my eyes, let me outline a few quick snapshots. 

When this pandemic started, I was in the corner that we’d figure a way to contain it and we’d be back at it by May or June. I came to this conclusion based on things that had happened over the past 20 years (Ebola etc) where the world didn’t have to shut down. As it wore on, I realized it wouldn’t be a quick fix. I, like many others, had to come to terms with that. 

So, I buckled down and went at it. My workload from March through June was incredibly high. I did more hours in that span than I can account for, but it had to be done. And ever since, it’s been up and down with normal hours to many more. All part of life. 

But the little things get to you. As you look back and reflect, you can start pinpointing different aspects. I couldn’t go to baseball games. I didn’t want to eat out (I still don’t). I didn’t go geocaching or explore. I didn’t go on photo trips. I didn’t get to travel at all. I barely saw family and friends. 

This is the type of stuff that really gets to you. 

Politics

And what else did it? The presidential election in the United States. It doesn’t matter what side of the spectrum you were on for this – it was overwhelming. You have a global pandemic going on, social justice movements, and an insanely polarizing election cycle. No matter who one backed, there was tension. There were heated arguments and then add in social distancing (or lack thereof) and it got worse. 

No matter who one backed – we all had part in this situation. And the sad part is that it didn’t end in November, or even December, or hell, even January. It’s still going. We’re a nation divided and it doesn’t help with people and their mental well being. 

I’ve learned the block/unfriend/unfollow/mute buttons are very helpful in the social media world when it comes to a lot of this. I do it quietly, though. I’m not one of those who screams out I am leaving a group or I am eliminating people off my lists … I just do it. And believe me, I’ve done this to people on both sides of the political spectrum. It’s been nice that things have been relatively quiet, too. We know neither side is perfect — that’s for sure — but things being quiet is nice.

The weather

Depending where you live, this may or may not be something you are dealing with, too. But this winter near me has been shitty. It seems like we can’t go a couple of days without snow. And it’s not like we are getting feet at a time. It’s that steady, annoying, an inch or two here and there sort of snow.

We had a lot of snow this winter … which made things tough as well.

Sometimes it’s fluffy, sometimes it’s that “wet” heavier snow – like snowball weather. 

This really messes with your mind, too. 

There’s a day of sun and blue skies and you feel, even if it’s cold, that maybe something is turning. Then what happens? The next three days it snows. Two inches one day. Four the next. Three the next. It’s depressing. 

And it also forces me to stay in more. While I don’t mind walking in the cold, if I am out shoveling multiple times over a two- or three-day span, my energy is drained. 

And sure, shoveling 

The weather has been starting to turn for the better, though, so I am hopeful. But, I never think winter is done in my area until March ends. That being said, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Into my small world

Though I was a bit more outgoing and “free” when I was younger, I’ve become way more of an introvert in my adult life. “Adulting” absolutely wears me out. Small talk drives me crazy because nobody knows where to end a chat and all. Sometimes, I just want to put on some headphones and block out the world. 

I’ve had my own bouts with different things. If I have a day or two where my blood sugar is too high, I can go in several directions. I can get angry. Or frustrated. Or upset. Or any other emotion. It’s a battle that goes up and down based on my daily mood. 

The stress of work doesn’t help, either. 

The stress of life, too. 

I’ve been looking to buy a house, as well as a new car sometime this summer. I’ve thought about a dog (which I think would help me), and I’ve looked into buying a kayak this summer. I’d like to explore more and ride my bike more. And walk more. Some of these are big, some are small. But they all add up to make it hard, at times, to keep focused on other things.

Mental health

This is real. 

Think about yourself through all of this. Have you had any mental health issues? Has it taken a toll on your health at all? How’s your blood pressure? If you have diabetes, how are your numbers? How are other things? Are there any other underlying issues that have worsened during this time?

I have had my moments, that’s for sure.

Overall, though, I’ve taken it in stride the best I could. I’ve found ways to cope – whether it be a walk or binge watching something on Netflix, or trying to figure a way to shape my new personal journal (which may be one reason I haven’t blogged as much). Too often, I tend to slink back to the computer and that needs to change a little. The computer can be fun, be it some games or surfing or researching — but turning off the screen is important as well.

I’m trying to find different ways to do things to ease stress and I think that will help overall. The warmer weather will help. I plan to start playing some golf again as the weather improves, and I’ll be walking the courses more. Maybe I’ll get back to playing some disc golf. I want to explore some state parks. If a dog comes along, well … that can only help. Home ownership could help as well with all that it would involve. I want to do more with photography, and especially videography.

It’s the little things that will help. 

OK, we get it … the numbers. 

So … about those numbers 

The last two A1C reports were in the upper 8s – obviously not where I want to be. 

But … 

One of my recent readings before dinner.

A month ago, I met with a dietician. She was uber helpful. She helped shape my meals. She offered ideas based on what I like to eat. She talked about calories, and carbs. She explained certain things. And we worked on what I could do. 

The results have been crazy good. 

I made a spreadsheet to document what my finger prick readings were for the past month and it’s quite wild to see it drop. Over the course of four weeks my numbers have gotten much closer to where they should be and for that, I am excited and thankful. It gives me the drive to keep it up and see what I can do. 

Look, the reality is this – I don’t want my medication upped. In fact, I want it downsized. For this to happen, I need to do the right thing. I also requested a new blood glucose reader – one that syncs up with the MySugr app, so that should help as well. I’ll be excited when that arrives. 

And when I saw my doctor earlier this week? I’m down 11 pounds. So that is also a good thing that helps in many ways. If I can continue my progress and do things right — maybe I can finally build the habits I need to get healthier.

Moving forward

I have some goals for this year. I’d like to continue the weight loss. I’d like to get a bit more active with my walking (pick up the pace again), and hike/explore some. Maybe do some biking and kayaking. All that will help. And by the end of the year (I would have 2-3 more A1C tests this year as I go every three months), I want that A1C staying under 7 – as low into those 6s as I can get. 

And, I need to get blogging about these things more – not just this monthly write up, but the other features I have on here that have been neglected – such as the walking with a purpose and On The Trail. 

I can’t guarantee I’ll be full force, but I am going to try and do a bit more. I’ve really crawled into a shell and I need to come back out and experience life a bit more. 

And in the end, I think that will help me overall. 

I hope everybody is getting through this pandemic. Be safe. Mask up when needed. Have some distance. Be healthy. Be happy. 

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!

The reality of life today

This year is a blur.

I mean, I’m sure most of us are happy that 2020 is already in its eighth month. And goodness knows we are all *hoping* 2021 will be better. 

It has to be, right?

The past five or six months have been a total blur. They’ve been some of the longest and toughest hours I’ve ever had professionally. Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy to have a job. I’ve been where millions of Americans currently are and I know how stressful and tough it can be. I feel for them and hope they’ll find work sooner rather than later. 

Stress since March comes in many different packages, though. 

For those on the front line (medical etc.), it’s been crazy. Having to deal with so much illness and death. For those who have had to work through this whole thing (raises hand), be it in a supermarket, or some other job considered essential. And those who were left in charge of trying to help their kids get through the end of the school year without messing up any sort of a learning process. Or having to find a way to do it and hold down a job. 

Then there’s the having to stay inside, or wear masks, or wash your hands more in a day then maybe you had in weeks before. Or hoping to find toilet paper (and other paper products) or hand sanitizer. 

I’m missing a lot here, I know. But if you think about the past 5-6 months, we’ve faced so many things. And that doesn’t even include the political or social justice side of things, which has put so many people on edge or ready to yell and scream at others. 

It’s all a blur. 

My head hurts from it all. I’ve been working in the office for a lot of this pandemic. Some days there was hardly anybody else in the building. Other times, a handful. Recently, there’s more. When I did work at home early on, it was hard. Concentration was very hard, and focus was tough. I came into the office because I could get things done. That, of course, added more though as I had this or that to help with. 

My body of professional work was actually kind of impressive. From ideas I had, to the executing of many massive projects, I am quite proud of things. 

But my mental health took a beating. And though I know depression and things like that are real, I’ve never really dealt with it. I still don’t think I have, but I definitely had some mental health battles over the past several months – and believe me, I know I’m not the only one. 

Flower photography has helped at times. Nature remains beautiful during a pandemic.

Though part of me in recent years has tended to be way more of an introvert, I still like some human contact outside of work. And doing Zoom meetups and things just don’t do it for me. Simple things weren’t possible, and that made it hard. I walked a bit more. I tried to be outside. I take a lot of photos of flowers and things like that. I listened to many podcasts. I played around online and dealt with virtual settings and games and things to try and up the entertainment value. I watched things on Netflix. 

It didn’t make it easier. 

It’s August now. 

I haven’t seen a baseball game in person this year, and I know I won’t. That’s hard for me. Baseball is a huge part of my summer, be it going by myself, with friends, or family. I love the ambiance and the sounds and the sights. I usually go on a baseball trip or three and those were canceled early in this, knowing we’d likely not be doing it. 

I had tentatively planned to work on a trip to Iceland in late September. That won’t happen. Though I’ve saved a bit more toward next September – hopefully. 

A couple of us had talked about maybe the UK in November or December to see Genesis on their reunion tour … they’ve postponed that until next year … so maybe. 

It’s still all a blur. 

You’d think I’d have blogged more with as much screen time as I’ve seemingly had. But the drive isn’t there. I stare and can’t get the words to flow. My eyes and head hurt. I am on a computer too much. Often, I’ll sit at night with my laptop on my lap and stare at the TV. Talk about a zombie at times. 

I’ve wanted to really start rolling creatively. I’ve worked on a bullet journal. Some pen pal items. Postcards. And I often stop and stare. I can’t get the creative juices flowing. I watch YouTube videos and surf groups and social media for inspiration. There’s a lot of talented people out there and I still can’t get the drive. 

I realize, too, I’m not the only one in this position. I’m lucky in that New York is one of the few states that has really improved with all of the COVID items. It’s kind of under control, to a point, and things are slowly allowing you to feel “somewhat” normal. No, you can’t do things you did before this or the same way. But we’re “under control” for a reason and we don’t need to screw that up. 

Other states are currently where New York was at the beginning of this. And that hurts everybody as it’s the warm months and people like to travel, even if they maybe shouldn’t. There’s no middle ground. 

So, we continue. 

I’m not sure if life will ever be normal again. The things we took heavily for granted might be things of the past. Businesses have closed and may never come back. Wearing a mask in some situations is almost becoming second nature. I’m curious how my job will be this fall as I expect I’ll be wearing masks more often and have no choice in it. That’s fine, too, I want us to be safe and smart so hopefully 2021 will be better than 2020. 

It’s incredible that it’s been so many months since this whole thing started. And yet, we’re not at the end yet. I once had a lot of optimism and hope. Now, I try and avoid the news and just hope eventually some positive news comes out with everything going on. 

The blur hasn’t changed, but I hope things eventually come back into focus.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!

Living with Diabetes: Managing during a pandemic

For those of you who read my blog, you likely know I’ve been working my rear off to get my diabetes in control. I’ve been doing pretty well with it, too. 

In fact, at my last blood test in February, my A1C dropped .5 points and I’m on the cusp of dropping under a 7 for the first time in a while. 

That has me pumped. 

Living with Diabetes logo

However, then COVID-19 hit, 

The world went into a lockdown. People lost jobs. Others work remotely. Some are afraid to step outside. Being diabetic, I’m told, I’m at a higher risk. 

Just what I needed. 

I’m thankful I didn’t lose my job. I’ve worked remotely for the most part, but I go into the office a couple of times per week. I utilize social distancing. When I’m in a store or in a public area where I might be around people and can’t be 6-10 feet away, I wear a mask. I’m doing the items I’ve been asked to do. Do I like or want to do them all? No. But I’m also in the belief that I am doing many of these things for other people, not just me. 

My work has really amped up, though. I’m having to juggle a lot of things and I know the next two months are going to be high-stress, probably longer hours at time, and definitely a time where I might not always be smart. 

First, let’s take working at home. For me, it’s not the best. You do some Zoom meetings and all and you might snack a bit. I don’t always check my blood numbers as I forget. I’m out of a rhythm. 

Now, I will say I get way more walking in. My morning and afternoon walks are usually a lock. Sometimes there’s a third. When I’m at the office, I tend to try and move more because there’s so few people around and if I don’t move and stare at the computer all day, I’ll go bonkers. 

Sometimes on weekends, I’ve found nature areas and places to hike so I can get a change of scenery. I’ve tried to take photos and videos. When the weather is nice, I’ve tried to take advantage of it. 

But this time for everybody is hard. We’re not doing normal things. We want to, but we can’t. And that takes a toll on somebody’s body. 

The times I’ve checked my blood sugars, there’s some elevation at times. Not always mind you, but sometimes. I know there are times I pick at snacks because of the situation I am in. I don’t think I’ve really packed on pounds as clothes tell me otherwise. I’m trying to be as smart as I can. My portion sizes haven’t increased. 

Still, I know I haven’t been great. 

My next doctor’s appointment is June 30. I am supposed to get blood taken before then, so we’ll see how that goes. I hope I don’t see my numbers go flying back up, though I know that will be possible. 

For now, I need to get back to where I was before all of this started. That means watching what I eat. Moving. Not snacking all the time. Sometimes it can be very hard, as I am sure others will note, too. 

I keep plugging away. The best I can, anyway. It’s also my hope you are all doing well. 

Stay safe and healthy.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!

The world as we know it …

Does anybody else feel like they are living in a reality movie?

This is like The Truman Show, times a million.

A few months ago, we all heard about this COVID-19 coronavirus. It was pretty spooky, but it was far away. Though it didn’t seem those in charge were too worried about what it could become.

But, now it’s here. And it’s downright scary.

Now, let me preface this by saying I think the widespread panic is a bit crazy. We’re in a panic stage, which is never good. If we all use extreme caution, don’t put ourselves in bad spots, and use common sense, I think we’ll be fine in the long run. We can’t go bonkers.

But you have to be smart.

Hoarding toilet paper or hand sanitizer, and then trying to mark it up to ridiculous amounts of money doesn’t help. Not one bit. People need to be able to get basic supplies. Stocking your freezer with enough meat to last two years doesn’t help anybody.

It honestly makes me wonder about society as a whole.

This is a crazy illness going around. Things are being shut down. Businesses are closing — and many likely can’t afford it. People are alarmed and in a panic — and that definitely doesn’t help. We’re in uncharted waters here.

I work in two school districts, handling PR. That includes maintaining social media and websites at each. Each are putting out information as fast as possible. Most people have been thankful and appreciate how much each district is attempting to do for their communities. Some are negative and it makes me wonder about things. This is new for the schools, as well. Usually, they aren’t told to shut down to students for this long — especially now in the day of social media.

Speaking of that, the media and social media are hard to watch and look at. A human’s mind can’t grasp everything that is going on and process it that well. It’s impossible. Rumors become “truth,” and and the truth and facts gets questioned by people because they don’t want to believe it.

We have to practice self care. For me, it’s trying to process things and remain calm through it all. That doesn’t always happen. I’m a human just like anybody else. Despite thinking this reaction could be way over, I understand it. And I have fears and caution just like anybody else. What we’re doing is being done for a reason. Yes, it will inconvenience people. Yes, people will suffer. But in the end, we will get through it.

One way or another.

So practice some self care. Go for a walk and try and avoid close contact with people. Get some sun. Show social distance. Try not to feed into the hysteria and breathe. Play a game. Video chat with an old friend.

And if looking to help small businesses, see if you can buy gift cards. Or go get some takeout.

We will get through this. It might be faster than they thing; or it might be longer. But we will get through it.

Most of all, be good to one another. Basic human kindness or a smile from six feet away can go a long way.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!