Earl is still a work of fiction – kind of. I haven’t seen the other two guys involved in many years, but because this is a … work of fiction … their first names are used so as not to protect the innocent. Please read previous Earl posts for the back story of how he came to be.
It’s hard waiting inside some out-of-the-way donut shop for Earl to show.
It had been a while since Earl was around, and three of us had made the journey to see him. Me, the Big Easy and Jay were there on time – but we knew Earl wouldn’t be. He never is.
And why would he be? He never seems to have a care in the world and just kind of goes along life with each passing moment like there is never anything else happening.
For the nearly 20 years we’ve known Earl, this is how he’s been.
And now, it’s time to wait and see what the hell Earl will do. Heck, he might have even stood us up. We were prepared and everything – a dozen donuts on the table waiting.
Jay reached in and grabbed one.
“I’m not waiting any longer. I’m hungry,” he said, biting into a jelly donut.
And then … it happened
“Wooooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeee” somebody yelled, not far away. Instantly, I knew it was Earl. He had a disgusted look on his face as he slowly strolled out of the public restroom at the donut shop.
The other three or four people there looked over as well.
“The coffee here is potent today,” he said as he waltzed out, a smirk running across his face as he saw the three of us.
Turns out Earl actually was on time, but he was … blowing up the bathroom. The counter staff people looked at Earl as if he’d gone mad and then turn their heads in disgust.
He slowly made his way over to us and we couldn’t seem to stop looking at his feet.
He reached in and grabbed a donut … and we all quickly turned to see if he touched more than that one. After all, who knows if Earl actually washed his hands after his pit stop.
“How you boys doing?” Earl asked, louder than needed.
I couldn’t help but to keep staring at his feet, though. Especially when he crossed his leg as dangling from the bottom of his shoe was a long piece of toilet paper.
And Earl seemed absolutely oblivious to that piece of toilet paper as he kept munching away on his donut.
Eventually he noticed all three of us staring at his shoe and he looked down. What followed was a belly laugh and he reached down, and pulled the toilet paper off his shoe, then used both hands to crinkle it up. Finally, he tossed it in a nearby garbage can, before reaching in – without cleaning his hands – for another donut.
“You guys not in the mood for these sweet donuts?” Earl asked as he bit into his glazed donut.
“No,” I said, as I pushed the box of donuts in front of him. “They are all yours.”
There’s no telling where that toilet paper came from, but it didn’t seem to bother Earl. Then again, not much ever seemed to bother him, which is probably why he could keep chomping away at his donuts after yanking the TP off his shoe.
That’s Earl for you, though. Donuts and toilet paper … obviously mix so well!
This post is part of the 2018 20 Days of Chill Writing Challenge hosted by A ‘lil HooHaa. Please check out the link if you’d like to see others or join in. You don’t have to do every theme if you don’t want! And for those participating, take a moment and check out the other participants! This is also part of the 2018 HooHaa Blogging Challenge.